So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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