addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
