Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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