AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
