yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
