so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
