just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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