It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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