Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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