she looked like the bat from fern gully.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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