please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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