Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
