Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
