There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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