listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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