WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
