It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
