Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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