if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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