I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
