I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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