I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
