i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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