well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize