So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
