"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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