i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
