So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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