Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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