i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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