so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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