but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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