wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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