i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
