If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
