I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
