is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
