My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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