the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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