quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
