Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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