You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
