He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
love makes seman taste better
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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