Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
