i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
