it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
