I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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