im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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