Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
