Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
