Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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