just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My feet surprised me
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