That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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