Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
