I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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