I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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